First impressions

First impressions are important.

Everyone stereotypes everyone on first impression, even if we are reluctant to do it. We all get a first impression of a new person that creates a mental image of his or her personality in our minds. That image of you often lasts and can affect the relationship that follows.

Another thing is that we often play different roles in relationships. With our parents we play one role, with friends another, with someone we are interested in/in love with a third, when shopping for clothes in a store a fourth. And so on.

A good or great first impression can create a positive role in the minds of the new people we meet. When we meet them again, we are often drawn back into this role. Sometimes it happens almost unconsciously until you after a few minutes notice that you have fallen into your old role - like when you meet friends you haven't seen in years - in that dynamic once again. You may not always be drawn into that role. But if you do it sure is better to have a positive than a negative role saved for you.

Here are some of the things I've learned about improving first impressions. Of course, different environments like business meetings with suits and ties or parties with colourful drinks come with different goals and expectations. So figure out what's appropriate and useful in each meeting.

1. Don't think too much.

First, perhaps the most important tip: don't think too much. This will help you let the conversation flow easily and you won't become self conscious and nervous. Try, as much as possible, to stay focused on the people you are talking to rather than focusing on yourself.

2. Act as if you are meeting a good friend.

If you just imagine that the person you will met/have just met and are talking to is one of your best friends you'll probably adjust unconsciously and start to smile, open up your body language to a very friendly and warm position and reduce any nervousness or weirdness in your tone of voice and body language. This technique is also a great help to stop over-thinking and it puts you in the present moment again. Don't overdo it though, you might not want to hug and kiss right away.

The nice thing about this is that you may also start to feel positive feelings towards this new person, just as you do with your friend when you meet him/her. This is a pretty good starting point for getting them to reciprocate and for developing a good relationship.

3. Stand and sit up straight.

Keeping a good but relaxed posture certainly improves on the impression one makes. Don't slouch. Sit or stand up straight.

4. Be positive.

Sometimes you can go in all positive in a first meeting. Sometimes it may not be the best approach to go in too positive as it can be seen as bit abrasive or feel like a bit too much for the other person. A better way to convey a positive attitude in a first meeting can then be to read the mood of person(s) before you start talking - by just watching them - and then match it for a short while. Then - when you have an emotional connection - you can let your positivity arise a bit more.

Regardless if you start out positive from the get-go or a short while into the meeting, be sure to positive. If you, for instance, start a first meeting by complaining, there's a big chance the people you meet will mentally label you as a complainer or a negative person.

5. Mentally rehearse before you even enter the room.

Visualize how great the events will unfold - see and hear it - and also how great will you feel at this meeting.

See yourself smiling, being positive, open and having a great time. See the excellent outcome in your mind. Then release by visualizing that it has already happened, that the meeting is over with the desired result. This is surprisingly effective and will get you into a great and relaxed mood before even stepping into the first, second or twentieth meeting.

You may want to not think much at all (tip #1) or act as if you are meeting a good friend (tip #2) or use a positive mental rehearsal before a meeting. Try them all and see which one - or combination - that works best for you.

6. The words you use to start the conversation with aren't always that important.

As long as you use some of the tips above it will usually not really matter too much what word or phrase you use to start the conversation. The words are only 7 percent of your communication. 93 percent is in your tone of voice and your body language. Sure, those numbers - that comes from a study that psychologist Albert Mehrabian did - may not always be completely accurate in a conversation.


But the point is; don't over-think things. A simple "Hi!" backed up by a relaxed and confident smile may do just fine.

http://www.positivityblog.com/

Easter Day: "Mengejar HadirMu" 2010

Once again this year our church organized Easter Day which was held on Sunday 4th April 2010 at 2:30 pm with a theme "Mengejar Hadir Mu". This time, it showed a concept of testimony and singing with Unplugged music.

With preparations for a month, with a variety of obstacles faced, all participants have performed satisfactorily and bless. The event began with a dance performance from the great dancers like Florentina, Angela, Debbie and Esther. Then followed by a presentation of the Sunday School and short message from our Pastor Joe Marcose.

Ivy is the Emcee on that day who has the best and entertaining. Opening Praise and Worship led by Veronica and Jimpele with 3 songs. First presentation from Fresella and Abigail presented a monologue drama about "Pekerjaan" and followed by a song "Kau Bagian Terindah Bagiku" which is sang by them too. Onwards, presentation of Noni and Jimpele with the theme of "Keluarga" show a great testimony and a combination of great vocals. After that, Roland and Salifiah were present the best singing of their song "Tiada Seperti Mu" and "My Heart Your Home". They convey the theme of "Fikiran & Hati". Presentation of Jessyta and Tatum who brought the theme of " Perbuatan & Perkataan". Dancing of Tatum and Ivy amazed the audience, and followed up with a strong voice from Jessyta who sang "I Will Never Be The Same again." Nice and steady.

For the closing program, all singers led the audience sing along with song of Easter Day theme "Mengejar Hadir Mu" and followed by "Ku Kan Menari" and "Hitam dan Putih". Great, awesome and all-out. At the end before the closing prayer, lucky draw tickets held for all who were present that day. Thank You God for the intervention and thy goodness for all this ... See you guys next year...

All photos are courtesy of Mr. Andy Saedah. [www.andysaedah.com]

Manage Your Money

Stop Spending Leaks

This lesson you will concentrate on finding spending leaks in your budget and look at what you can do about them.

What’s the Problem?
Reasons some people can’t seem to get ahead are:

• Impatience—You want the product now.
• Impulse buying—You see something at a store or on a shopping channel and buy even if you had not planned for the purchase.
• Using too much credit. Interest costs are high.
• Lack of self-discipline in saving money so it can work for you by earning interest.
  

What are your spending habits? Are any of these reasons keeping you from getting ahead? If so, you will want to work toward breaking those habits.How do you practice self-control? Is shopping your hobby? You’ve probably heard the saying “born to shop”—Is that you? Do you think you are a compulsive shopper? Do you get a “rush” from shopping and afterward, feel depressed? If this is the case, you may need some professional help. Or, you should try to find a substitute for the shopping. Try an active sport, an exercise class, or maybe volunteer at a nursing home or local hospital. Find something else besides shopping to make you feel good.

Spending habits can be changed if you:

• Identify the spending leaks that give you immediate pleasure or satisfaction, but don’t help you reach any of your financial goals.
• Substitute desirable spending behaviors that will help you reach your financial goals.
  

Ten Spending Leak Plugs
1. Learn to recognize the “triggers” that put you in a spending situation. (You may see some examples in your Spending Log/Dollar Tracker.) Maybe you enjoy shopping at yard sales or flea markets. Perhaps, when you go to buy milk, other items in the store catch your eye. Do you eat out every Friday night? Does a coffee break mean you will buy an expensive coffee treat?

2. Learn to recognize the “triggers” in your surroundings that tempt you to buy. In stores, merchandise is often placed throughout the store in locations to attract your attention. Temptations can also be people, places, things, or even the mood you are in. Do you find yourself spending more money when you go shopping with a certain friend? Do you spend money when you are feeling “blue”? Learn to control the environment so
you can shop wisely. Here are other suggestions that might help:

• Avoid exposing yourself to things that will tempt you to spend. Stay away from the stores except when you have something you absolutely need to buy. Avoid “just looking.” Browsing can lead to buying. Make a list and stick to it.

• Plan your shopping. Go with a purpose in mind. Use that list! Extras you don’t really need can add to the total at the cash register.

• Limit your number of trips to the store or the mall. Don’t shop in a weakened condition. Shopping when you are hungry, tired, or depressed can lead to overspending.
  

3. Before spending money, think through the decision-making process:

• What are your financial goals and priorities? Will this help you reach important goals?

• Consider the alternatives. Ask yourself:

— Can I do without?
— Can I continue to use what I already have?
— Can I make it for less money than buying it?
— Can I borrow someone else’s?
— Can I substitute something less expensive?
— Can I rent a few days instead of buying? (Example: carpet cleaner)
— Is this a need or a want?
— Should I buy?

• If you decide to buy, do some comparison shopping. Comparison shopping is important when making major purchases. Even small savings can add up on repeated purchases of relatively inexpensive items such as shampoo and paper supplies. Gather reliable and accurate information.
  

• Make your decision and take action. Then evaluate your decision. (Not all the choices will prove to be what you expect. Even if you later find that a purchase was a poor choice, the experience is a guiding lesson for the next time. You are gaining skills as a consumer.)
  

4. Be patient. Learn to say “NO” to:

• Items that don’t rank high on your spending priority list.
• Items that are too expensive for your budget. (Know your limits.)
• The salesclerk who says it looks wonderful, when you know it really doesn’t.
• Friends or relatives selling things. Don’t buy just because you feel obligated.
  

5. Use feedback. Review your spending record for patterns of behavior.

6. Establish spending guides for you and your family to follow. Use your expense records to plan your spending. Set spending limits. Don’t spend more than you plan.

7. Use the “incentive plan” to help you and your family follow the budget you have made. Perhaps you can reward yourself for following the shopping rules. If you have brown-bagged lunch four days at work, treat yourself to lunch out on Friday. Or if the family has been sticking to the budget and not spending money on unneeded items, a treat such as a night out or a trip to the zoo might just be the incentive to keep up the good habit. Just remember—don’t ruin the budget by overspending on the special treat.

8. Keep credit purchases to a minimum. Think about what credit will cost and how else you might use that money. Remember, interest charges add to the cost of anything purchased with credit.

9. Buy from reliable dealers and make choices that best meet your needs. Keep all purchase records. If a problem occurs, be sure to register a complaint. Act promptly in case a warranty time limit is involved.

10. Try to reduce waste to help save money. Excessive use (water, lights, automobile), abuse, or lack of care that leads to expensive repairs or shortens the service life of a product, or throwing away useful items are all examples of wasted money.


Changing a Habit
Be patient. Psychological research indicates it takes three to four weeks to break an old habit and form a new one. So don’t expect miracles to happen overnight. We have also learned through weight control research on behavior modification that it is difficult to change all old habits at once. Just target one habit you want to change and work on it until you succeed. Then move on to the next one. Be sure to set realistic goals and realistic deadlines. Do not go on indefinitely—that’s just procrastination. Develop a plan that will give you measurable results. For example, you can measure how much you have saved by not smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.

Action Steps
Put your plan into action. Start today with your new plan. Launch your new plan with as strong a push as possible. Make an open commitment so others in your family know you are serious about reaching this goal. Arrange your environment to encourage your new habit. Practice it daily. Do something every day to reach your goal. Don’t allow an exception to occur until the new behavior is part of your daily life and above all—don’t get discouraged. Good money management habits are a means to getting the most for your money. Look at your habits today. Stop spending leaks.

Stratocaster: Craftsman vs Squier

Craftsman ST120
Top & Body Material
American Alder

Neck Material
Canadian Hard Maple

Fingerboard Material
Maple

Tuners
Chrome

Bridge
Vintage Steel

Pickups
S-S-S Alnico

Finishing
CA, HB, SB, MBK

Squier Classic Vibe Stratocaster® ‘50s
Model Number
030-3000-(Color #)

Series
Classic Vibe Series

Colors
(502) Lake Placid Blue,
(503) 2-Color Sunburst,
(505) Olympic White,
(Gloss Polyester Finish)

Body
Alder

Neck
1-Piece Maple, Modern “C” Shape,
(Gloss Polyester Finish)

Fingerboard
Maple, 9.5" Radius (241 mm)

No. of Frets
21 Medium Jumbo Frets

Pickups
3 Custom Vintage Style Single-Coil Strat® Pickups with Staggered, AlNiCo
3 Magnet Pole Pieces and Aged White Covers

Controls
Master Volume,
Tone 1. (Neck Pickup),
Tone 2. (Middle Pickup)

Pickup Switching
5-Position Blade

Bridge
Vintage Style Synchronized Tremolo

Machine Heads
Vintage Style Tuning Machines

Hardware
Chrome

Pickguard
1-Ply White on (502) Lake Placid Blue and (503) 2-Color Sunburst,
1-Ply Gold Anodized on (505) Olympic White

Scale Length
25.5” (648 mm)

Width at Nut
1.650” (42 mm)

Unique Features
Aged White Knobs, Pickup Covers and Switch Tip,
Vintage Tinted Neck (on (503) 2-Color Sunburst and (505) Olympic White only),
Black Dot Position Inlays,
Vintage Styling,
Synthetic Bone Nut

Introduced 6/2008

9th, 11th and 13th Chords

Once you move beyond 7ths and start adding notes from higher up the scale (e.g. 9ths, 11ths, 13ths) there is one very important thing to remember.

All of these chords must have a 7th in them.
Just as there are 3 types of 7th chord (7th, min 7th, maj 7th), you end up with 3 types for 9th, 11th and 13th chords by simply adding to the basic 7th chord.

To get a 9th chord, add the 9th to the (flat) 7th chord
To get a min 9th, add the 9th to the min 7th chord
To get a maj 9th, add the 9th to the maj 7th chord

To get 11th chords you can add the 11th to the 3 types of 9th chord, but most of the time the 9th is not needed, so you simply add an 11th to the 7th chords to build the 3 types of 11th chord, and similarly with 13ths.

If you have a voicing of a 13th chord that also has a 9th or 11th in it, then that's fine: it's still a 13th chord, but most of the time these chords are just a normal 7th with an added note (9th, 11th or 13th)


9th, 11th, and 13th Chords

The spelling for chords like C9, C11, C13 (i.e. chords built on C7 - so they have a flat 7th in them) is:

9th: 1st, maj 3rd, 5th, flat 7th, 9th
11th: 1st, maj 3rd, 5th, flat 7th, 11th
13th: 1st, maj 3rd, 5th, flat 7th, 13th

It's worth noting here that the 5th can be omitted from the chord. The essential notes for C9, C11 and C13 are the 1st, 3rd, 7th and 9th/11th/13th

6th Chords

To make a 6th chord, start with the triad and add the 6th. But note that the major 6th is added to make both major and minor 6th chords - the 'minor' or 'major' bit comes from the triads.

So - for a C6 chord:

Start with a C major triad (CEG) and add the major 6th (A).
C6 = C E G A

For a Cm6, start with a C minor triad (CEbG) and add the major 6th (A).
Cm6 = C Eb G A

6/9 chords

These are similar to 6th chords, but they have a 9th added, as you may have guessed! I've always seen this as major chords, but I guess there's no reason why you couldn't have something like Dm6/9.

Anyway they are built up by taking the basic triad, and adding the 6th and the 9th.

So C6/9 would be: 1st, maj 3rd, 5th, 6th, 9th

i.e. the notes are: C E G A D
(The 5th can sometimes be left out)

A nice shape for this C6/9 would be:

EADGBE
x32233

C 6/9

Diminished, Half Diminished, and Augmented Chords

Diminished, Half Diminished, and Augmented Chords

Diminished Chords

The diminished chords are either written as 'dim' or sometimes using a small circle like the symbol for degrees (°).

A diminished chord is made up of these notes:

1st, min 3rd, flat 5th, double flat 7th.

(Double flat 7th is the same note as the major 6th, but it's usually written as double flat 7th - don't ask me why!)

So A diminished would be: A, C, Eb, Gb

As a point of interest, the intervals between successive notes in a diminished chord are all minor thirds.

This means if you start to build a dim chord on a C, you end up with the same notes as for the A dim.

In other words Adim = Cdim = Ebdim = Gbdim = A+C+Eb+Gb

So when you play a diminished chord, if you move it up the neck by 3 frets you still have the same chord!!

There is also a chord called the half-diminished, or diminished 7th. I usually write this one as somthing like E7-5 - just another name for the same chord. It's best if you're aware of the different names used for the same chord.

The difference between this one and a 'normal' diminished is that the 7th of the chord is a flat 7th, not a double flat 7th (hence half-diminished).

So the spelling is 1st, min 3rd, flat 5th, flat 7th.


Augmented Chords

An augmented chord is made up of these notes:

1st, maj 3rd, sharp 5th

So A augmented would be : A C# F

(Intervals between successive notes are all maj 3rds - i.e. 4 semitones.)

You can see augmented chords written as something like 'A aug' or 'A+'.

'Add' Chords and Chromatic Chords

Here are the triads and chords:

Major, minor, sus2 and sus4 triads and chords.
Major 7th, flat 7th and minor 7th chords.
9th, min 9th, maj 9th, 11th, min 11th, maj 11th, 13th, min 13th, maj 13th chords.

All other chords fall into the series of chords with 'added' notes or chords with altered notes.

Added chords

Chords with 'added' notes are just what they sound like. They are usually written as something like Cadd2, Cadd4 etc.

Simply start with the 'base' chord (C in this example) and add the appropriate note. You can of course add to any 'base' chord whether it's major or minor or whatever.
Be sure you understand the difference between add2 and sus2 chords, and add4 and sus4 chords - the sus chords have the 3rd replaced with another note. The 'add' chords simply add to the triad, so Cadd2 would be:


Cadd2 = C triad + 2nd = 1st, 2nd, maj 3rd, 5th

Csus2 = Csus2 triad = 1st, 2nd, 5th

Similarly there is an important difference between 'add9' and '9' chords. A C9 chord must have the flat 7th in it (see above), but the Cadd9 chord will not - it's just a C major triad with a 9th added.
You can carry on adding as many notes as you want. If you play around with alternative tunings you could quite easily come across chords like Aadd2add4, but most of the time you'll just have one added note.

You can of course add a note to a chord that isn't a simple major or minor chord - you can have things like Csus4add9 etc.

Altered chords

These are chords with chromatic alterations. The 5th, 2nd, 4th, 9th etc can all be chromatically altered - i.e. moved up or down by a semitone (half step).

Examples of this are chords like E7#9 and E7b9. The 9th of a normal E9 chord has been sharpened in the E7#9, and flattened in the E7b9.

So what are the notes for these?
Well, starting with the 'E7' bit:


E7 = 1st, maj 3rd, 5th, flat 7th = E, G#, B, D

Now add the #9 (count up 15 semitones from E) - G.

So E7#9 = E G# B D G.

Similarly E7b9 = E G# B D F.

There are a few different ways to write these chords.

'-' and '+' signs are sometimes used to mean 'flat' and 'sharp' respectively, but 'b' and '#' are used as well.

You might even see 'dim' and 'aug' (diminished and augmented) used too for the same thing.

So E7#9 could be written as E7+9 or E7aug9, and E7b9 could be written as E7-9 or E7dim9.

With these chromatically altered chords there is almost no limit on the number of chords you can create - most of these will be used in jazz, but some (like the E7#9) appear quite a lot in rock music too.

To work out the notes to these types of chord it's best to start with the 'basic' chord, then add the chromatic notes to this. So, as above for E7#9, start with E7, then add the #9.

You may find several chromatic notes in one chord - like A13b5b9 - treat it just the same way - build up the A13 chord, then swap the 5th and 9th for the flat 5th and flat 9th.

Friendship and the Question of Age

When it comes to dating, most of us have strong feelings about the proper age difference between two people looking for a mate. The more liberal minded believe that “anything goes” (as long as its legal), while many people see a real problem when there’s a significant age difference between two lovers. The term “cradle robber” comes to mind.

But does a person’s age make a difference when it comes to friendship? Is it better for all of your friends to be within the same age group as yourself, or are their advantages to having friends both older and younger?

Diversity Is A Good Thing

Just like diversifying your portfolio gives you many different ways to increase your net worth, having friends for various age groups can help increase your happiness and better your life in ways you might not realize. Let’s see how that’s the case.

Friends Your Own Age

Of course there are many advantages to having friends that are close to your own age. No doubt you will have many things in common. You will have grown up listening to the same type of music, enjoying the same movies and other forms of entertainment.You will probably be at the same stage in life, be it in High School, college, well into your career, married with children, or ready for retirement. All of those similarities will give you plenty of experiences to base a friendship on.

Friendship With Older People

It has been stated that wisdom comes with age. That is the greatest advantage of having friends who have “been around the block” a few more times than you have. Are you a newlywed or a new parent? Have you just graduated from college and are now off to start a career? Making friends with people who are a few, or even several years your senior will allow you to take advantage of their experience and insights. You'll also get the opportunity to talk to someone who has experienced periods in history you've only read about. If I only had friends in my own age bracket, what great times I would have missed out on, and I can think of a few life lessons I might have had to learn the hard way.

Friendship With Younger People

Do you want to recapture some of your youth? Friendship with younger people can do that for you. It also gives you the opportunity to share your knowledge with someone less experienced. There’s nothing more satisfying then helping someone else avoid your mistakes. Of course sharing is a two way street. My younger friends help me keep up with all the latest trends in music, fashion and the like. So having friends both older and younger than you has several benefits. Don't miss out on all the great friendships you can have by looking beyond your own generation.

8 Essential Attributes of a True Friend - How Do You Rate?

What kind of friend are you? Are you someone who others can turn to for support when they are down, can you give them a push at the same time as holding their hand, or are you more focused on just sharing gossip and social outings? How many of the following essential attributes of a true friend do you have?

Non-Judgmental:
A true friend will never judge you. They will stand by you no matter what you believe or what you do. They may not agree with you, but they respect your right to make your own mistakes, have your own opinions, and walk the path you choose.

Compassion:
A true friend will be the first person to offer you a supporting hand when you fall. They won't question whether the situation was your own making, they will just help you put things right again. They won't dismiss your sorrow at losing a pet, or your distress at your favourite team losing, as being non-important. They will know that it is important to you, and that's all that matters.

Listening:
A true friend knows how to listen. Really listen, without feeling the need to talk and turn the conversation focus onto them. They will hear what you say and will be able to let you get your feelings out in the open without interruption.

Trust:
A true friend will give you a safe place to be yourself. What you say or do will not be repeated by them to anyone else.

Encouraging:
A true friend will help you find your dreams. They will explore your life and help you move towards what you really want in life.